Who are you speaking to?

As an Erotic Entrepreneur, how amazing is it when you receive an inquiry from a client and all they say is “I want to work with you”?

No hard sell. No convincing. No struggle.

That’s when you know when all your online pieces work and you’re offering an ideal solution to your customer’s problem/s. When the copy is so beautifully and authentically crafted to who your ideal customer is the sales is effortless because your new customer knows that your offerings serve and solve their problem. But what about when the sale is a struggle? Or even worse, when you’re not receiving any enquiries?

Let’s go back a while.

Way back when I used to write a sex column for an online men’s magazine. It was the usual vanilla “how do I give my boyfriend/husband a blowjob?” or “how do I make my wife/partner/girlfriend/ orgasm?” kind of stuff. 


It was during this time, that I first heard of David de Angelo (DYD) who ran a website called Double Your Dating dot com. This was around 2004 and David was a big gun in the online dating space and was making a mint.

He’d really worked online marketing out.

David didn’t make any promises other than to coach people in how to double their dating. The solution to the problem he was solving is in the name. 

Double. Your. Dating.

Nothing more. Nothing less. 

He didn’t try to fix relationship problems. Didn’t offer sex advice. Apart from the ‘Double your Dating’ offer, he didn’t actually offer ongoing relationship advice.

The pitch was to simply double your dating. 

#brilliant Now I’m not here to say that whether the coaching advice DYD was providing was good or bad or right or wrong. What am here to do is to talk about what made David so successful in the online space.

Erotic Customer Avatar

David meet Eben. Eben meet David.

Turns out that David de Angelo is a pseudonym for Eben Pagan, the creator of the Ideal Customer Avatar (ICA) process.

“The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself.” Peter Drucker

With DYD Eben Pagan focused entirely on one problem. He knew that the niche for people who had fear around dating was big enough to focus on solving this one problem. 

He then continuously produced quality content and products that solved only this one problem. Eben’s DYD excelled at creating the perfect product that really met the needs of his avatar.

Erotic Customer Avatar

Because we’re in the Erotic business I’ve renamed the ICA to ECA or Erotic Customer Avatar . Starting with researching your customer avatar places the customer at the centre of the business, not you the business owner/entrepreneur. Then you really understand your customers and understand what their needs are you can create offerings that speak directly to them.

Your business is not about you.  

DYD imagined all the challenges his prospects had in common in regards to their dating problems and merged them into one avatar Irwin. Eben/David knew there were a lot of Irwins out there who had a problem asking women on dates. Of course the Irwins had other problems but David/Eben only spoke to the overlapping problems that all the Irwin’s had. In essence Eben/David put the customer avatar at the centre of the Double your Dating business.

Next blog I’ll be delving deeper into identifying your Erotic Customer Avatar + sharing a document to get you clear and actioning. In the meantime reflect on who your ideal customer avatar is and what specific problems you’re solving. Plus watch this six minute video of Eben Pagan talking about Double Your Dating’s ICA.

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